


Looking Back and Moving Forward

by buzzbuzz34



Series: Azu Week 2020 [5]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Memories, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26897473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzzbuzz34/pseuds/buzzbuzz34
Summary: Azu is older now, and she's left behind the adventuring lifestyle to serve as a priestess of Aphrodite.  As she prays, she holds onto mementos of Sasha and Grizzop, and understands a new meaning of letting go.
Relationships: Azu & Sasha Racket, Grizzop drik Acht Amsterdam & Azu
Series: Azu Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956034
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13
Collections: Azu Week 2020





	Looking Back and Moving Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 5 of Azu Week 2020! Today's prompt was Lost/Found: Letting go; holding on.

Kneeling in the temple is harder than it used to be. Azu’s knees don’t work quite as well as they once did and, even though she abandoned the heavy platemail for a priestess’ robes, every movement is a little harder than it was before.

She recites her usual prayers, offering up thanks to Aphrodite for the good in the world and asking her to write the wrongs and cure the afflicted. She makes a special request for the woman who came into the hospital earlier in the day with a rare disease, and for the boy whose arm was broken in a bad fall. Relatively simple things, compared to the prayers Aphrodite used to hear, back when the world was at war.

Azu catches sight of the rose tattoo lacing along the back of her hand and she traces it gently, smiling to herself. She enjoys serving as a priestess and a healer, of course, but there was something about those days as a paladin, travelling across the world, hundreds of feet both above and below the surface of the earth. 

As she reminisces on the past, she inevitably thinks of the losses incurred along the way. She always remembers Sasha and Grizzop, the friends she knew for such a short amount of time, yet would always be part of her family, no matter how many years pass. And given that they wound up in Ancient Rome, that was quite a significant number of years.

Azu misses them. She misses all of the friends she made along the way, even Carter; she kept in touch with both Zolf and Cel through letters, since neither tended to stay in the same place for long, and she always made sure to stop at the al-Tahan estate to visit Hamid when she found herself nearby. 

And as inevitably as she remembers the family she found during her paladin days, she remembers just as vividly the feeling when Grizzop and Sasha were ripped away from her hands and flung into the void. 

She tries to focus on the good times she had with them, and the knowledge that Grizzop went out fighting, as he would have wanted, and that Sasha lived a good, long life. But that guilt, that pain, pangs at Azu’s heart and she can’t stop the tears from falling.

Azu reaches inside her priestess’ robes and draws out a small satchel filled with her few personal effects. Inside, she finds a small dagger and a symbol of Artemis, and holds them tightly in her hand. 

She doesn’t even remember how she wound up with one of Sasha’s daggers. It is a tiny blade, the one sewn into the collar of her leather jacket. Perhaps it had gotten mixed into Azu’s armor when she held onto Sasha’s unconscious form in the ruins of Rome, or maybe Sasha had slipped it onto Azu, just in case she needed it at some point? It is so small and dainty in Azu’s hand, but it hadn’t rusted or worn down one bit, the blade still as sharp as it was when Sasha might have called upon its aid.

In Azu’s other hand, she rubs her thumb over the etchings on the medallion of Artemis. Grizzop had bought them for their companions when he met them in Rome, and she found one in her bag of holding months afterwards. She still had her Aphrodite symbol as well, up in her quarters, but this one had a special meaning. While Azu meant neither Artemis nor Aphrodite any ill-will, she continues to carry the symbol solely as a memory of Grizzop and of the strength of his belief, a reminder for when Azu’s own faith might falter.

Azu can never let go of the memories of Grizzop and Sasha, of the family she found on the road. But… maybe it was time to let their spirits rest. 

Azu hauls herself to her feet and steps toward the altar. With a few more tears and a whispered “goodbye,” she places the dagger and the medallion beside the candles, and finally allows herself to let go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the sad! Check out azuweek.tumblr.com for more awesome Azu content!
> 
> If you want to find more of my writing, head on over to kellanswritingblog.tumblr.com, or for personal shenanigans and fandom nonsense, check out celsidebottom.tumblr.com <3


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